Our life is largely controlled by our subconscious. If we don’t value ourselves, we unconsciously think that we don’t deserve many things, e.g. success, love, good partnerships, money, a happy family, a beautiful home. And so our subconscious will do everything in its power to make what we think about ourselves come true.

We don’t get what we don’t deserve – not to the extent that we would really like.

Have you experienced this, too? You want something from the bottom of your heart and at the same time you may be afraid of not getting it. You love someone and are afraid of losing them. If you feel like this, you underestimate your worth. And in fact you program your subconscious to look for exactly those things that you don’t even want to have. Simply because your focus is on it. Self-love isn’t narcissistic, don’t worry.

Rather, it is about treating yourself with respect and appreciation. Would you throw everything you think about yourself at your best friend? Of course not? But then why are you doing it to yourself? You think it’s important to take care of others? Yes, of course it is. But you can only do that if you take good care of yourself. If the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling on a plane, you should put one on yourself first before helping others. You cannot help others if you are not doing well yourself. And it is already written in the Bible: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Now the question is: And how do you do that? First of all I want to tell you that it has nothing to do with work. How often do I hear that someone wants to work on themselves, on their self-love, their self-worth, their self-confidence. But I believe none of that is achievable through hard work, nor is that hard work necessary.

Self love is about loving ourselves for who we are. It’s not about having to meet any conditions first. You don’t have to lose 20 pounds, earn 10,000 USD more a year or finally achieve what you’ve wanted to do for a long time before you can love or appreciate yourself. You can do that NOW! You are lovely! Ask your best friend what he or she appreciates about you. You will surely be amazed at what you hear. But listen carefully and don’t wave your hand and say that’s not true at all.

Instead, say thank you and repeat to yourself what you’ve heard about yourself.

I’m going to be a bit metaphysical now. After all, I’m a hypnotist, I do regressions, also of a spiritual nature, and you just stumble over the soul and what we’re on earth for. We are here to experience ourselves. The soul persists even when the body perishes. There is no guilt for the soul. For the soul there is no separation. For the soul there is unconditional love. You were born absolutely innocent and pure – absolutely perfect and nothing could have made you more valuable than you already were in that moment. And you’ve done your best ever since.

Of course you made mistakes too, but you kept evolving.

And I assume that you want to develop further, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this right now. In fact, even now, nothing could make you more valuable than you already are. Not 20 pounds less, not 10,000 USD more. It doesn’t change anything at your core. You are already perfect just as you are now. All you have to do is acknowledge this.

Reading this is the first step and then just be more gentle with yourself. Make it a habit to honor yourself. You deserve it. Just say to yourself: I’m willing to accept myself like I am. You can also say that to your reflection in the mirror. If you want to move on, think this: I love myself. This is my mantra. In fact, it helped me a lot when I wasn’t feeling so well and combined with self-hypnosis it’s fantastic.

And it helps to think it over and over again. Whenever I realize that my thoughts are about something else, I think: I love myself. Smile at yourself in the mirror when you look at your reflection. We often look in the mirror and only notice the negative sides of ourselves. Focus your attention on the beautiful things, your beautiful eyes for example and smile at yourself. Make yourself happy. All of this is not work. Or is it work for you to tell someone you love them or to smile at someone?

Change your focus. Change your focus from the negative things to the positive things you can think of or notice about yourself. There will be many things that you have done well, are good at and also many things for which you can be thankful. Make it a habit to take a moment every night to think about what you did well today and what you are thankful for. Best write it down; so you can refer to it at times when you need a lift.

When you long for someone to say words of comfort to you, learn to give yourself what you need. What would those words be that would help you? How does it feel to say them to yourself?

Treat yourself like your best friend. And you will find that you value yourself, more and more every day! And every day you feel better and better. Because you program your subconscious to notice the good things and what you put your attention on, you usually get more of it.

Have you already gained experience with my tips or have any comments? Please leave a comment.